We’re hitting your inbox this Sunday afternoon because our church has some big news to process. If you weren’t with us this morning during our service, we invite you to check out today’s message on discernment.

Dustin and I were able to share about a discernment process we’re currently in, and if the opportunity plays out, our family will be transitioning to living in Austin, Texas in a tiny-home community called Community First Village - a master-planned village aimed at lifting those experiencing chronic homelessness off the streets. You can learn more about the village here.

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“Prayer tends to say more about you and your image of God than it does about God herself.” 

“True, whole prayer is nothing but love.” - St. Augustine

“Pray as you can, not as you can’t.” - Dom John Chapman

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Wandering around in the dark night of my soul looking for the light switch was not how I envisioned the end of my marriage of 44 years. In fact, I had always pictured this time of my life being the space where Randy and I got to start each other’s rockers! Like many Christians, we believed that our commitment to love each other for the rest of our lives was enough to ensure a lasting marriage. We were both aware of many of our own eccentricities and imperfections, but at 20-something, we envisioned marriage as just an endless sleepover with our best friend (or favorite weirdo!). As I read somewhere, in reality, a perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

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A million years ago, I graduated from college as a nurse, and I decided to move to Chicago to go to seminary. While there, I found a church home in the Evanston Vineyard. The Vineyard is a church movement where laying hands on the sick and praying for them to be healed is part of almost everything that they do. We would stop to pray for someone as soon as they mentioned a sniffle or an ache. We would gather in groups to pray for our friends in the hospital. Praying for each other at the end of every church service was a given. My practice of prayer changed a lot during this time in my life. I was praying almost continuously. I talked to God about everything because I honestly believed that he was listening to and answering me.

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Lutherans love a good ceremony. Nothing splashy, of course. We don’t like to show off. But when it’s hard to talk about spiritual matters and deep emotions, it’s good to stop, say some important words together, and admit that life is full of big moments. We baptize, take communion, get married, get buried…and we confirm.

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It had to have been the spring semester of 2003 when Prince Dorough, my choir director from Illinois Central College, referred me to a church that was seeking a part-time choir director for the upcoming school year. Prince had to have either held a great deal of confidence in my potential, or he was completely oblivious to my skill level because I had never directed a choir before, and I lacked any inkling of confidence in doing so.

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“Holy Orders” isn’t a phrase that’s in my vocabulary. In fact, to be completely honest, I had to learn what the term meant before writing this article. I’m guessing that the term probably isn’t in a lot of our collective vocabulary at Imago, so just for clarity, the dictionary defines “holy orders” as “the rite or sacrament of ordination” or “the rank or status of an ordained Christian minister.” But I think it goes beyond making your faith your profession. With that in mind, I want to share my experiences and thoughts about feeling called to specific ministries for God.

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Being raised Lutheran, we believe in baptism as a child, which is when I was baptized. But in my mind it never happened because I have no recollection of it. While I was in junior high, I started taking confirmation classes where I was being taught about the faith I was baptized into. Being a classic moody teenager, I didn't take any of this seriously. I wanted to go to church to see my friends, so I did this without argument.

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It may surprise some that, as someone who grew up Catholic, confession was something I saw more on television and movies than I practiced in real life. That was partially due to how often my family moved from one place to the next, and partially due to my own fear.  

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Thank you to the Imagoans who took the time to fill out the survey about what you would like to see shape our vision. As a leadership team, we appreciate hearing your voices about where you feel the spirit of God moving in and through our part of the Body of Christ. We have tried to thoughtfully and prayerfully use your feedback in plans going forward. There were some common threads among those who answered—many find Breakfast Club and our other outreach ministries to be hugely rewarding, whether they participate personally or want to support a church who prioritizes these actions. Most are very pleased with our attempts to have a welcoming spirit to all and consider that their priority as well. The community people find here and the love of the people of Imago for the people of Imago radiated. 

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Several summers ago, I was able to travel to Vail, CO. In the Winter, it’s one of the most popular skiing destinations, but in the Summer, it’s a beautiful place to hike through the forest. I was able to hike through a breathtaking aspen forest when I was in Vail. While I was there, I learned that Aspen trees aren’t stand-alone trees but are inter-connected stems/trunks that share the same exact root system. What starts as a single seed can spread into a massive cluster with thousands of shoots off the same roots. What looks like many stand-alone trees is actually a family of stems connected underground.

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For the last several months my work at Jolt has taken to places I never imagined. I spend the majority of my day with those who are unstably housed, people who inject drugs, and individuals engaged in sex work, particularly women who work the streets of Peoria. 

When people find out about the work I do, they have very strong opinions about the prostitutes I’ve come to know by name, who have become my friends and colleagues. There is an immediate comparison to the wicked temptress Eve or the whore Mary Magdaline.

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In 2014 I was pastoring a church in Kentucky where I would frequent the county jail. It was here that I visited a man in his thirties, who was serving several years of time. During one of my visits, he shared about a new inmate on his cell block. This block consisted of twenty bunk beds all packed into a room with a few toilets and sinks. The day this inmate was brought into his cell, all of the men in the cell knew who he was because they had seen his face plastered all over the local news station in the recreation room. The men snickered at him and treated him harshly. But the man from my church got up from his bunk and moseyed over to gift him with a bar of soap. 

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My wife, Leslie, and I have served the poor in Honduras every year since 2000. I made Imago Dei aware of the need 10-11 years ago, and teams have been serving in the same settlement outside La Esperanza every year since. We have built around 12 houses and have made lasting relationships with many who live in this barrio.

Here’s why I—we—keep doing this.

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I am excited.  I am 8 months pregnant with a healthy little boy.  However, the journey was not easy to get to this point.  I don’t always look excited.  Fear still sets in about whether I will be able to bring my baby boy home with me.  It was over two years ago when we officially decided we wanted to start to grow our family. Since then, I have lost two babies. The entire process was miserable and difficult.  I also struggled to get pregnant during this process, and I battled long and hard to find out everything I could about my health – and do anything I could to improve it. So this is my third pregnancy; not my first.  And it is exciting; but it is also scary.  I am aware that I could lose this baby too; although, I hope to be able to bring him home. During this time, support, community, and stories got me through.  The story about an elephant and a dog stands out to me.  This story continues to motivate me and remind me that the baby boy I am carrying is very special.  He is mighty and great.  His story is full of difficulty and grief and time, but when he is here, he will be very important.  

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