Judy, My Campus Pastor in College
BRENDA PECOTTE DE GONZALEZ
I am the type of person that likes to have a plan. It is fine if plans have to change because I also have a back-up plan and if that doesn’t work I can come up with a back-up to the back-up plan. Growing up, when I heard people talk about faith and God I often heard something to the effect of “God has a plan for your life” or “don’t worry, everything will go according to God’s plan”. You see- even God has a plan. So this naturally, if God has a plan then my job as a follower of God was to follow that plan. Perfect! I can do that. This works until it doesn’t.
There came a time in my young adult years where the “plan for my life” wasn’t quite as clear. There seemed to be less of “one plan” and more like “many options” and God seemed to be present in all of them but not leading me to one particular one. So I did what my childhood faith had taught me, I prayed and still no answer. The same childhood faith also taught me, if God is not answering then I must not be praying right. If there is one plan- the God-ordained plan for my life, I did not want to make the wrong choice- that was worse than not following the plan. I determined that if there wasn’t a clear answer then don’t chose; stay where you are. This can prove debilitating dilemma for someone who really likes clear directions.
One day, when I was in college I was sitting in a chapel service listening to a sermon by our campus pastor- Pastor Judy. It was a regular weekly service between classes; we weren’t required to go but I decided that day I would. I don’t remember what life decision I was stuck on, but I remember that I was stuck. And as I sat and listened, she told this story from the time she spent a year walking across the United States as part of her seminary internship. (If you are interested, I highly recommend following her on IG @walkingpastor). [Note: I am paraphrasing from my recollection]. She said she had her route planned out but somewhere in Indiana (at least I think it was Indiana) she had received a request to speak or to stay but it would require changing the plan and she wasn’t sure about that. She then shared that in talking with a friend, he said to her something to the effect of: regardless of which path you chose, do you really think God will not honor the journey?
Whoa. That hit me. I wrestled with that, with not being fearful of making the wrong decision. The faith I had growing up was about following God’s plan; not the kind that trusted God to be traveling next to me honoring the journey. I had no clue what that kind of faith and relationship with God was like. However, it seemed that maybe faith isn’t about figuring out and following “God’s plan” but rather walking with God and trusting Him to honor the journey. I often remember this story when I find myself getting too caught up in what “the plan” is or having to wrestle with tough decisions.
I leave you with this- words from a benediction that Pastor Judy often shares, that I continue to hold as a reminder that it is not about following “the plan” and my prayer for you: “May God go before you to guide the way. May God go behind you to encourage you. May God be above you to watch over you. May God go beside you as your most intimate traveling companion. And may God go within you to give you the peace that passes all understanding.”
Brenda (she/her) considers herself a Midwest grown wanderer. She spends her days (and nights!) as a family physician- currently finishing a Family Medicine Obstetrics fellowship and looking forward to starting a new job at a federally-qualified health center this coming fall. She has been married to David (pronounced Da-veed) for the past 11 years and is so grateful he is always up for an adventure, balances her planning with his spontaneity and lovingly smiles and corrects her Spanish on a daily basis. She enjoys scrapbooking, a good cup of coffee and being near water. She is also a daughter, sister, aunt, friend and adding mother to that list this coming July.