Apropos of Nothing
JOEL SHOEMAKER
One thing that I think is kind of interesting to note is that I have been in several car accidents. When I say several, I mean more than ten and less than twenty. I think. I’ve lost count.
Bummer.
There was the one time I drifted off of a major interstate as soon as I got onto it. This was when I was in college and it was something called black ice and that’s important because I didn’t have a jacket and I was wearing dress shoes and my cell phone was dead. Not knowing what to do, I decided to walk to the next exit which must have been two miles away? Maybe not. That sounds long. Listen, the point is the drama regarding walking on the side of a highway with black ice and semi drivers trying not to hit me which, ironically, I suppose, made them swerve in front of me and, for whatever reason, I saw my life flash before my eyes.
What I mean to say is, a quarter of a mile or a half a mile or a mile or two miles, it just probably doesn’t matter.
Eventually, even in dress shoes, even coatless in February, I made it to the nearest gas station. When I asked to use their phone, they of course looked at me like I was an idiot, but I explained and they let me. My dad answered, seven or eight miles away. He came and got me and took me back home so that I could try life again another day.
Another time, less ice, more snow, my memory is that my dad and I went to go pick up my mom from work. We made it there.
The way back was a bit of a different story. From the side of the road in the middle of the country we called my uncle who just happened to live in the same country, America yes but here I mean, you know, the rural parts, corn and such, I don’t know, lack of shopping malls. My uncle came from this kind of country to our car but couldn’t get us out so, somehow, we wound up in some stranger’s barn. I think my uncle knew them. Maybe.
We made friends.
But the best one – the worst one? – spoiler alert, we lived – was when my buddy drove from youth group to the bowling alley in a torrential downpour. We had just finished making so much fun of our friends who had to ride the bus.
Then we wound up upside down in the middle of the highway. It was kind of a bummer.
The bus passed us. A friend was quoted as saying, ha, someone’s insurance just went up!
Maybe. I don’t know. I wasn’t the one driving.
My head got caught in between the top of the seat and the roof of the car. Upside down, on the roof, in a torrential downpour, with the water rising slowly.
My friend was gone.
There’s a moment, you know, in a crisis when you black out and you come to and you are thankful that you’re safe and then you look to your left or to your right and you realize something really, really important is just, kind of off.
I don’t know what the point of this all is except to say, I’m kind of a bad driver. A bad passenger. Bad at navigating the weather.
All of the above.
The other point is, especially in that last one, I was pretty sure I was going to die.
And then I didn’t.
By the way, my friend didn’t die either. He swam out of the broken windshield, tried unsuccessfully to open my door, and then ran into oncoming traffic on the highway to flag down some help. After the bus drove by, this guy came and held my hand until the fireman came and the fireman cut me out of the car with the jaws of life so, yeah, I guess that car was probably a total loss.
Bummer.
When you don’t die, but when you almost die, when you’re in a crisis and then you come out of a crisis, when your life flashes before your eyes, I just think, maybe each time, well, you continue to exist for a reason.
God had something else in mind.
For me, it was to leave banking and start a career making less money doing something I could actually love, could actually be passionate about, could actually be proud of. To do so would require schooling at an additional cost, ironically, but would take me out of the country for the first time and would land me a great internship which would lead to opportunities in leadership and provide chances to travel to conferences nationwide.
It would be at one such conference that I would first hear from my now husband. We would move to Peoria and join a small, progressive church. It would be the first time either one of us would experience congregational affirmation.
For me, each of these moments have proven transformative.
And expensive.
Joel Shoemaker has an MLIS from Dominican University and has been the library director for the Illinois Prairie District Public Library for just over four years. Previously, he was the library director for the Oakwood Public Library District, also in Illinois. In his spare time, he enjoys participating in community theatre and has been a magician since he was seven years old. He is married and has a dog named Maximus. He longs one day to have a smaller dog called Minimus.