Transformation Feels So Big
TARA TURNER
Transformation. It feels so big. You come out the other side a completely changed person. Marriage, the birth of a child, or a cross-country move come to mind. But what about the more subtle transformations? I’ve spent the last six months knee-deep in the story of Cana while working on an event venue named after the Bible story.
A little refresher on John 2:1-12: Jesus and Mary are at a wedding celebration in Cana, and the hosts run out of wine. Mary tells Jesus to turn the stone jars of water into wine. Jesus says (major paraphrasing here), “Mom, no. That’s none of our business. You’re embarrassing me.” Mary says, “Just do it.” Jesus obliges, thus performing his first recorded miracle. This miracle is not a huge spectacle. He performs it behind the scenes, not in front of everyone like some sort of magician. It seems subtle, but this marks a huge transition in his life. It seems to be a transformation he is not ready to embark upon yet.
We can be so resistant to transformations and many times we need to be pushed. Sometimes we are simply fed up with the status quo. Maybe you’re working at a job with the sole purpose to put food on the table, but it doesn’t feed your soul. Maybe you have a friendship that is sucking you dry, but you feel the tug of loyalty. I think the story of Cana is telling us to embrace the push to change, even if it’s small. Just do it. Risk is scary, but you could be missing out on miracles.
Recently I have been trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up (at 34 years old). As a creative, manufacturing feels stifling. I am constantly perusing hiring sites looking for the perfect writing job, but rarely send my resume. I am afraid of the transformation. I’m comfortable where I’m at and am convinced I don’t have the portfolio or the technical skills for the posted positions. Meanwhile, I complain to my poor husband about my job almost daily. He has every faith that I can do it, but why don’t I? Transformation is scary, and I’m convinced it’s because we’ve been programmed to think it has to be a big, grand gesture to mean anything.
Small transformations are there. Instead of going for the huge job change, I applied for a part-time position I can do in conjunction with my current job. It would mean a small, behind-the-scenes change. I’m not bringing someone back from the dead, I’m just changing water into wine. Could it open the door to a greater transformation? Absolutely! And I’m embracing the push.
Tara (she/her) has been attending Imago for a decade. You can usually find her on the left side of the sanctuary or, sparingly, singing with the worship team. She and her family (husband, Ryan, and daughters, Tutu, Autumn, and Girl #3 scheduled to arrive in January) live in Washington.