More Transformation
EMILY WAITE
“Don’t be afraid of change. In order to become a butterfly you must let go of your life as a caterpillar . “ Jane Lee Logan
I recently read “Following the Path” by Joan Chittister, a Benedictine nun who has written several books. She says most people have 3 major transformations. The first is leaving high school. The second comes in midlife. And the last comes with retirement.
The temptation at these stages of life is to make decisions based on what society tells us is success - money, fame, power, etc. This sometimes makes it difficult to see God‘s plans for us. God‘s plan often reveals itself to us as a passion we pursue. Some people find their passion early in life. Others feel they never truly found that passion. Sometimes your passion won’t pay the bills. So you have to get a job and pursue your passion in your leisure time or as a volunteer. The truly blessed identify their passion early and are able to make a living at it, as well.
The first major transformation is leaving high school. Whether it’s on to college, getting a job, getting married, etc., life will never be the same. This was a transforming time for me. A year after high school I had gone from being my parents’ child to my husband’s military wife to my child’s mom. And I moved from NM to NC, the first of many moves in my life.
This was also a time of transformation for my faith. I was raised Catholic and as a child simply believed everything I was told without question. As I got older, I realized everything wasn’t black and white and I had questions.
I also experienced major transformation in middle age. Before I was 40, my husband retired after 20 years in the military, both my children had grown and left home, and I became the major breadwinner as my husband now followed my career path.
We continued to attend the Catholic church, but we had questions and didn’t completely agree with all the stands the church took on issues. Then, we discovered the Episcopal church. We really loved that they were open to all and actually encouraged questioning and discussion about our faith.
More transformations came. At 58, I lost a job for the first time in my life, my husband developed health issues, and the day after my 60th birthday, my husband died unexpectedly. Then I lost my job a month after his funeral. My faith in God and my church family helped me through these very difficult times.
And now, as I enter retirement, transformations continue. In 2018, I moved to Peoria to be close to my daughter’s family. It was the 30th move in my life and, hopefully, my last! My daughter and her wife introduced me to Imago Dei Church and I started attending church with them. I also attend St. Paul Episcopal Church and manage their food pantry. I feel doubly blessed because I have two churches that help feed my soul and I attend services at both every Sunday.
I am presently reading “The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully”, also written by Joan Chittister when she was 70. It is so timely as it’s all about the decisions I now face as I transform from a professional career to retirement. And my faith has changed significantly since my husband‘s death, making me closer to God than ever before. I hope that the closeness continues as I attempt to grow old gracefully.
“The blessing of these years is the transformation of the self to be, at long last, the self I have been becoming all my life. It is the moment of final and full transformation.“ Joan Chittister
Emily was introduced to Imago Dei Church by her daughter and daughter-in-law, Tamara and Jennifer Black-Waite, when she moved to Peoria in 2018. When they became foster parents, she easily stepped into the role of grandma!
She worked at colleges and universities for 10 years, followed by a 25 year career working for chambers of commerce in four states.
She’s also a professional volunteer, from Girl Scout leader to community deputy mayor, she has always been a very active volunteer, including service on state and national boards of directors.
At Imago, she’s been active in Breakfast Club, the Honduras mission team, the Hot Mess Sisters Book Club, and the Surround program.
She also attends St. Paul Episcopal Church and manages their food pantry there.