Only Forward
MATT BENDER
At the beginning of 2020, things looked positive for our family. We had a family vacation planned and were looking at a new vehicle to carry our family (and brother-in-law) to the happiest place on earth. Then, just days before we were to leave, they announced closures across the U.S., including our vacation spot. We were all crushed — adults upset because this was our escape for the year and kids because…well…it’s Disney! It was disappointing to think that we would miss the reaction from the kids and not share the memories with them at that age. you worked through it and transitioned to remote school and shut-down restaurants. We rescheduled the trip and persevered on, glad we all had our health and praying for those in other places suffering from an unseen virus.
The first few months of the virus seemed strange. We heard about the sickness in other places but were lucky it didn’t seem to be “with us.” It was especially strange not seeing all the faces from Imago, not being with the kids in the nursery or having our quiet time while they were in class. Missing everyone else’s kids hit us especially hard when we saw the videos posted for Easter and Christmas. The kids have grown up so much! I think that is the hardest part of this time, missing the interaction with people. When it all started, we thought it would be a week or two, then everything would be back to normal — there was no way everything could stay shut down. But as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, it became very real. We were walking into a new normal for the foreseeable future.
It’s surreal to think back on the year. It seems that the entire thing was a blur with no real way to separate one season from another. In a normal year, it would be basketball, baseball, soccer, tumbling, dance and the list goes on and on. When one ends, another starts, with late dinners and doing homework at the fields…I never knew I would miss that so much. Many families are in the same situation as us; it seems to be the framework that keeps us going. We trudged our way through, and Nikki became the best substitute teacher I have ever seen! I was fortunate to continue working, and the kids settled into their new normal. It has brought us closer together as a family, and we have found we are pretty good at board games and puzzles.
Unfortunately, people close to us have suffered the virus. Fortunately, most recovered, but it has made it all that much more real. We grieve for the families that have lost loved ones, especially those unable to say goodbye. 2020 was a difficult year for a lot of people, but it has shown me that our kids are resilient, making it through remote learning and no outside activities and still finding ways to connect with their friends and family members. Maybe we can all learn from that. Connecting with people today is easy — dial a number, text, message, email, FaceTime or drive-by birthday parades. Be there for the important people in your life; it may be all they have or look forward to. Loneliness and depression go unnoticed in times like this, so BE the community that Imago has taught us to be…be an image of God. Be there for your neighbors, friends and community. Those are the important parts of our lives, not winning a little league game (even if it is awesome!).
A year ago, things were much different. We have found new ways to connect, but it's not the same. I was ready to go back to the old normal before writing this, but now I realize it is a season in life and there is no going back. Only forward…together with love and compassion for all people. Be the Imago Dei.
Matt Bender has been with his best friend for 19 years. Together, they have 8 kids ranging in age from 25 to 4. Matt is a business agent for the Carpenters Union, and Nikki is a stay-at-home mom and amazing wife. They have been at Imago since the Gateway Building and have seen many changes in the Imago community over the years — but one thing remains the same, and that’s teaching everyone the way to live the Imago Dei.