Gratitude: The Child of Attention.
LYNN KARNEBOGE
For the last several years, I’ve almost felt that gratitude was my personal super power. After reading Ann Voscamp’s One Thousand Gifts, I began keeping a gratitude journal. What began with effort became a practice, and then a lifestyle. Even when my journaling became sporadic, my “noticing” continued. As Diana Butler Bass describes in Grateful: The Subversive Practice of Giving Thanks, “When you look for things to be grateful for, you find them; and once you start looking, you discover that gratitude begets more gratitude.”
Just to be clear, I’m not talking about focusing on the positive as a way to avoid sorrow or discomfort. While most of us would prefer to escape struggle, it is through our difficult times that we most often experience growth. Acknowledging our emotions keeps us connected to ourselves and aids in relieving stress. I’m also not encouraging an appreciation for material possessions, which can lead us down an unproductive path of expecting to be rewarded for our faith. Rather than looking for comfort and wealth, I began to pay attention to the gifts of God in nature and in others — the fresh scent in the air after rain, the pink stripes in the sunrise, the sweet familiar company of my friend and walking partner.
Then suddenly, we were living in a pandemic! Instantly, many of the aspects of life that I enjoyed were gone — no more meeting friends at a restaurant, no more Hot Mess Sisters get-togethers, no more browsing through Kohl’s, no more Sunday morning gatherings at my beloved Imago Dei, and no more enjoying a hot chai tea latte inside the local Starbucks. (Yes, I do realize just how privileged my life is.) I did find enjoyment in the slower pace that was forced upon me. It was satisfying to get some projects completed around the house. After a couple of months, though, I found myself unable to concentrate, and I grew tired while reading as I had to read something multiple times to follow the thread. I fell into the unhealthy habit of continually scrolling through social media, checking news on Google, and playing games on my phone. It became too challenging to even send cards or texts to friends and family. Zoom interactions felt so unsatisfying and tiring. My bandwidth withered to almost nothing; even making a to-do list became overwhelming. My understanding of the world became so uncertain and unstable that my practice of thankfulness dwindled away.
Fortunately, I have a wise spiritual director who suggested that I take one or two minutes each day to focus on thankfulness — the crunch of fallen leaves on my morning walk, the thrill of a three-year-old finding acorns to “feed the squirrels”, seven bright orange blossoms on a gerbera daisy! “As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible,” says Ann Voscamp. This practice at the end of each day (coupled with backing away from my obsession with the news) has truly restored a glimmer of joy.
Oh, I still have days where life seems challenging to manage, where I feel that I can’t make a difference, and I yearn for what once was. Sarah Bessey reminds us, “We are connected, we are engaged, we are co-creating justice and goodness with God in this tired world, AND in order to sustain that engagement, we also make room to practice and notice the good things that help us out, open us up, heal us, bring us joy and rest.” A vulnerable conversation with precious friends (outside and socially distanced, of course); the sweet, comforting aroma of snickerdoodles fresh from the oven; the friendly smile and wave of the crossing guard on the corner — those are the gifts bringing me hope and peace in these chaotic times.
“Gratitude is the child of attention. When we stop to take in what’s before us, a single moment becomes suddenly divisible into thousands,” says Kate Bowler. If you took a couple of minutes a day to pay closer attention, what gifts would you detect?
Lynn is a retired primary school teacher. She and Rich are the parents of two grown sons and she finds spending time with them is a source of much joy and laughter. Lynn finds satisfaction and contentment working in the yard. The list of books she wants to read grows increasingly longer and she fears she will never get to the end of the podcasts she has downloaded. She is blessed with two wonderful sisters, many kind and delightful friends, and a sweet husband willing to run to Starbucks for a Chai Tea Latte.