1st Sunday of Advent - What Do You Fear? by Vicky Brown

As we start Advent, it could do us well to remember that this is a season of waiting for the Divine to break through. Break through what exactly? Well, that depends on where you are at. And it depends a lot on what you expect when it comes to God and your relationship with them. One of the things I want to draw out in myself this Advent is a greater understanding of my inner landscape. And I want to be able to name where I am at and what I fear that is holding me back from a fuller relationship with the God I love dearly.

The year I turned 40, I made a list of 40 things I would accomplish that year…and I mostly did all of them. Today I want to share part of that list. I told myself that I would elaborate on 40 images or thoughts that I had about God. I had kept a note in my phone for years with little snippets of ideas or things I had heard that resonated with me about the Divine or some kind of spiritual insight. I’ll have you read it and then comment a little on it at the end:

“The only way through the darkness is to name it.”

So I guess I don't know exactly what was going through my mind when I first wrote this one down. But now it means mostly (to me) that you can't know what it is that's happening unless you take the time to do the work and become familiar with your surroundings. Your surroundings include your inner state of being, how you are relating to other people, what's going on in your soul in relation to God. Your inner state of being seems to me to be more about what your soul is craving, how it's feeling, what it desires, what it doesn't want. There's a sense of being honest with yourself, of naming what's truest about yourself in the moment. When you're in the dark and you can't name it, I feel like maybe it's better to sit there for a second instead of rushing headlong into the dark, trying to find some source of light. Because who's to say the darkness won't just descend again because you didn't do the work to dismantle it the first time? So naming it is important because it puts a boundary on it. It doesn't necessarily give it a time-frame to be dissipated but it lets you know what you're up against when before maybe you didn't and it was nebulous, ominous, or overwhelming. Once it has some edges I feel like maybe you can go through it because you know what to expect a little bit. You still have to go through it, naming it doesn't take it away. But naming it may make it less deceitful and a little easier to grab hold of. Its ability to lie to you about what it is, is gone. It can no longer tell you it's more than it is, or even less than it is! More stuff may come up or the darkness may get longer, but it won't be the same darkness that you named before. Instead of being ruled by the emotions of the darkness you can give yourself over to the work that you've done to identify it. The emotions don't go away, but instead stand as a witness to the path that you have chosen. They witness to the hard work that you're doing in the feelings of perseverance and fidelity. They witness to the heartache that you feel as you trudge along. They witness to the hope that you have when you see the light at the end of the tunnel. But all of this is possible because you did the work to name what was happening. So there is an interaction: your logical work putting boundaries on the darkness WITH your emotions as you head out of the darkness. This is the kind of balance that I long for, my brain and my emotions working in tandem as I work my way through any problem, any situation in life - regardless of whether or not it is dark or light, I want to be balanced. I want to give good boundaries to things so that I'm not overwhelmed, so that I can know what I'm in for as much as possible. Doing my inner work and attending to my emotions are ways to make that happen.

“Do not fear” or “do not be afraid” are the most repeated commands/phrases in the Bible.This little fact has always brought me comfort because God must know how fearful we can be and he is desperately trying to reassure us. There is so much to be afraid of in this world, which is why I lean on what I wrote above…combining my inner work to give the darkness edges and the encouragement to not be afraid…that’s a powerful combination! God gives us agency and support in this life. Perhaps it’s not a voice whispering in your ear or a heavenly hug, but instead it is found in this community, in the voices and arms of those around you that you feel the Divine rush in - reminding you that God has given you agency and support in real time and not in some far off place when you die.

The Israelites knew fear and darkness. They knew longing. And their tradition had given it very clear edges so that they would know what it would look like when the longing was being fulfilled in the coming of the Messiah. (What a gift their tradition had given them!)

What edges of darkness do you need to define, Imago? What do you fear and how can you give it a boundary so that you have the space for the Divine to rush in, just like Jesus rushed into our world 2000 years ago?

This Advent, I stand in support of the agency God has given you to name the darkness and find His light through it in the faces of this community. WE are the Imago Dei, the image of God, here now on this earth. Amen.