Writing Your Own Prayer
Beloved Imago, this month, let’s write our own prayer for a person we were kind to last month. If that sentence makes you nervous - I’m asking you to stick with me. Let’s work through it.
Prayer is not complicated, though I think many of us were taught to believe that we had to do it “right” or it somehow didn’t count. Let me assure you - your prayers matter and there is no doing them “wrong!”
But, before we start, a caution about prayer: we do not pray to manipulate God or to earn his favor. God is NOT a vending machine. We pray to be formed into the Divine likeness - LOVE.
“Our purpose in prayer is not to defend or condemn ourselves or to come up with any kind of analysis or sermon, but simply to respond, from our inmost depths, to what God is sharing with us of God’s own self.” ~Richard Rohr
With that in our minds, that prayer is about being formed into a more loving person, let’s see how we can write a prayer for someone, even for ourselves.
Think about what talking to someone looks like. First, you get their attention, right? “Hey!” “Psst!” “Good morning!” Or maybe “Dear…” if you are writing a letter. So, first, think about how you want to address God. There is no right way to do this. I find it best to simply call God how you are feeling about him or with him at the moment. Sometimes this means no address, but just an inner acknowledgement that they are there like always. Settle on an address that feels right to you. Now, I know that “feels right” could be vague for you. But stick with it for a minute: how are you feeling towards God right now? Where do you feel it - in your mind, your heart, your gut? Use that feeling to address God.
Next, tell him what you want to talk about. I am encouraging you in this prayer to focus on a person you were kind to last month. Maybe say something like, “I wanted to talk to you about ___ and how we interacted last month.” Or maybe say something like, “(your address for God here), do you remember (insert person you were kind to)? I would like you to remember them.”
And then, write out what your desire is for this person. What are your hopes for them? What would you like them to know about themselves? What do you like about them? Who do you want them to grow into being? What do you hope changes about their circumstances? The possibilities are limitless here. Dig down as you interact with God and your feelings about this person. Where do you want them to be? How do you want them to feel? What do you hope they experience in their lives? This experience could be emotional or not. What matters is the energy you give to it - because that energy matters as you pray to God about what you are writing for this person. God “hears” your heart and sees your passion for others. He takes that into himself as something that matters in his kingdom here now. LOVE, here, NOW, pouring out of you and into God and who you are praying for.
As you wrap up sitting with this portion of your prayer, gently come back to an image of this person’s face. Gaze on them and ask God to gaze upon them too.
Sit in silence and ask God for some words that would summarize all the energy you just poured into what you just wrote. Maybe sit there for a minute to soak in all the writing you just did (or lack of writing if you are less wordy - which is totally fine!). As you come back to the words for a summary to write, be gentle with yourself and with God. Words are rarely perfect, but they do matter. So as you end your written prayer with whatever summary that came to you, know that it is good and worthy.
And finally, a great way to end a prayer that has stood the test of time in the christian church is “In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
If you liked writing your own prayer for this person, I suggest continuing the practice, writing prayers for others, for events, for circumstances, and especially for yourself. It is never wrong to use a written prayer: they can be returned to over and over again and can bring such beauty to our journey with the Divine. Below is a written prayer I say over my kids every school day and some resources for prayers others have written so beautifully. Crafting a prayer is a rich practice and it is to our advantage to use what even others have written to enrich our own prayer lives - especially because sometimes, we just don't have the words. And that is okay - someone else had them for us.
Imago - you are doing so well at growing into Love. It matters so much. My hope is that this practice of writing a prayer was valuable to you and helped you become even more loving as you move forward in this big, beautiful world. Amen.
“Remember you are loved,
You are wanted,
You are needed,
You are cared for,
You are desired.
The world is a better place because you are in it.
Thank you for who you are,
Keep up the good work,
And remember you are loved.” Amen.*
*This prayer was said over the SDI conference in 2018 by an indigenous woman who said that this is how her community greeted each other every day.
These are from a book by Ted Loder - a great resource for written prayers!
https://prayersandcreeds.wordpress.com/tag/ted-loder/
Kids Version:
This month, let’s write a prayer for someone we care about. I’m going to make a few headings and you fill them in underneath. When you are all done, put it all together as your own written prayer to God for that person.
What do you want to call God? (a feeling, a name, an event? For example: Jesus, Love, Creator, The Storm, The Light, Mine, ...anything goes! If it sounds weird, have your adult help you with the tense/wording to help you get the right thing you are going for...)
Who do you want to pray for?
Why do you want to pray for this person?
What do you hope for this person?
What do you want God to be or say to this person?
What do you like about this person?
What do you want God to remember about this person?
Now put it all together and end your prayer with this simple phrase, used for centuries in our faith: “In Jesus’ name, Amen.” This just means that you are asking Jesus to stand with you as you offer your words up to God.
See how easy it is to write a prayer? You can do this for anyone - even yourself! Your prayer does not have to be in any certain order or have any certain “way” about it. There is NO right or wrong in talking to God. What matters is that you are connected to God - just like we’ve been practicing all year. So focus on the connection as you pray - God is with us as love, always. Amen.
Vicky Brown is a spiritual director, rock collector and loves sci-fi and fantasy. As a “4” on the Enneagram she feels all the things, all the time. Just ask her husband, Cory. Vicky currently works with Mandy Kampen to co-lead Eats Drinks and Orthodoxy.