Life Isn’t Written Down
KEVIN MCCLELLAND
Methodist churches have a printed bulletin that shows you everything that’s going to happen in the service: the title of the sermon, all of the hymns to sing, and even the call and response prayer. You always knew what was coming and what to expect. Turns out life doesn’t always go according to the bulletin.
When I came to study at Bradley, I took an interest in sociology and religion. I was a confirmed Methodist, I knew God had a plan for my life, and clearly I knew enough to tackle what college could throw at me. Taking “Religions of the Eastern World” showed me that I knew nothing. It was eye-opening and world-bending.
It made me doubt a lot of things: that there is one “true” God. Or one true religion. That evangelizing and converting non-Christians is the only way to save their souls.
Doubt is easy to submit to, which gave me permission to shrug off the general existential dread that I felt. It also made it easy to quit church. Yet, I still had this nagging sense that I was missing out on something. Where is the bulletin with the order of my life on it?
I didn’t come back to church until I was brought to Imago. What I found was a community that has helped me change how I view the world, myself, and my connection to everything.
What initially blew my mind was the directive “everything is spiritual”. Church, the physical building, had largely been the place where God existed. God didn’t really venture out into the ‘real world’ after Sunday at 11am. It was a new and intriguing concept that He extended into all facets of my life and the things surrounding me. Jesus is there when I’m reading a book? That’s cool. God is there when we’re just hanging out on a Saturday afternoon? Great!
Another notion that called into question my previous beliefs was the phrase “performative Christianity”. This cut to the core of my understanding of what it meant to worship. To internalize the thought that the God of the universe can be praised without me having to sing mid-2000s worship songs? That I don’t have to feel guilty about not answering the altar call because perhaps that isn’t the spiritual practice that speaks to me? Incredible. Again… where was this information in the bulletin?
Admittedly, there were a lot of times that being in services made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. Some ideas made no sense to me. Some ideas were way over my head. Some just didn’t fit into the ‘box’ of my theology at that moment, so I outright rejected them. (Where was the bulletin that told me I would be challenged so much?)
I’m still on the journey of leaning into typically ‘awkward’ conversations about faith and religion, when others choose to offer their thoughts. Imago helped me open my eyes to the fact that my white, cisgendered, Methodist-backed theology is my own personal worldview - and that I have many more to learn about and learn from.
There is a quote that I’ve been referencing lately: “You can live as if nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is.”
Today, having moved away from the physical Imago community, I’ve tried to carry forward the sense of wonder and curiosity at the world that Imago has inspired in me. I’ve noticed myself looking more deeply at people and wondering where God is speaking to me through them. I pay more attention to the growth of the flowers, the movement of the rabbits and squirrels, and my dog who lunges at them. I’ve also started to understand that I have more capacity to help others - it just requires some action on my part. Each time I pause and drink it all in, I am reminded that there is someone who set these wheels in motion, who will come one day to make all things new. I’m also reminded that I can help with that renewal - with or without a written bulletin to guide me.
Kevin McClelland lives near Cleveland, Ohio with his wife Emma and his dog Blu. When he was in Peoria, he was an active volunteer with the tech team and the music team at Imago, but somehow never took the enneagram class/test. He probably messed up your microphone at least once and apologizes for it.