Mental Health Stigma
SARA DYER
“It is an odd paradox that a society, which can now speak openly and unabashedly about topics that were once unspeakable, still remains largely silent when it comes to mental illness.” -Glenn Close
Upon being asked to tackle the topic of mental health stigma for Imago Voices, I wanted to give space for deeply personal experiences. While I am not a fan of “labels”, mental health conditions have been categorized over the years for clinical psychology evaluation and treatment. The below interviews are from 3 people very near and dear to me who each openly discuss their own mental health journey. Much appreciation to my sister-in-law, Heather Dyer, a good friend and military veteran, Markus Podell and my aunt, Kathy Martin-McNeil, for openly sharing their thoughts and insights. There are so many more stories and experiences beyond this page, beyond the labels and perhaps right in front of us or even within us. I invite you to journey along, ask questions, check in with yourself- your mind, heart and soul.
Heather Dyer.
Can you share a brief summary of your journey with mental health?
I have had issues with anxiety, depression, and disordered eating for as long as I can remember. I wasn’t diagnosed with any of those illnesses until college though. I have spent the last 10 years in a roller coaster of attempting to heal from these illnesses. I am not perfect, but I work towards a healthier self every day.
How has COVID impacted your mental health?
As an essential worker, I didn’t realize how much Covid had affected me until I didn’t have the ability to function anymore. I got to the point that the depression and anxiety had gotten so bad that I hadn’t washed my dishes in a month because I mentally couldn’t function. I went to work, came home, and spent the rest of my time eating and sleeping too much. I hit an all-time low with my health both mentally and physically.
What resources, treatments, supports or habits have helped you to live a fuller life?
So over the years I have seen therapists and that helped, but with Covid, it wasn’t as easy to access that. Last summer I had a work incident that caused my anxiety to go into overdrive and I was prescribed an anti-anxiety and an anti-depression medication. That helped me get started, but I was able to recently change jobs and with that I decided to make healthier decisions for my body and mind. Those decisions included: working out regularly, eating in moderation (and giving up fast food), reading mental health improving books, and meditating! The changes I’ve seen in my overall health have been amazing!
What experiences or treatments have hurt you?
I think my self-treatments over the years hurt me the worst. I’ve tried to “fix” myself so many times and when I fail everything gets worse. I have a bad “all or nothing” mindset and that has been my biggest downfall when it comes to my mental and physical health.
How have you felt misunderstood by others?
I feel like people think mental health isn’t real. I am embarrassed to tell people how bad my depression can get because I feel even worse when I tell others. People need to realize just because you don’t have mental health issues doesn’t mean others don’t.
What would you want to share with someone to help break the stigma surrounding mental health?
I would say that mental health issues are everywhere. Mental health is just as important as physical health. You wouldn’t judge or look down on someone with cancer, so don’t judge someone for their mental illness! For people with mental illness I would say try to surround yourself with people who are accepting and willing to be educated. It’s nice to have people to talk to about mental health!
“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” -Glenn Close
Markus Podell
Can you share a brief summary of your journey surrounding mental health?
My mental health journey started at an early age. My parents divorced when I was young and my mother passed away from suicide when I was 16. In 1997 after graduating high school, I joined the US Army. During my 12 years of service I deployed to Bosnia, Kosovo, Iraq 3 times and Afghanistan for two very brief tours. I was separated in 2009 for injuries sustained during combat. I am a recipient of both the Purple Heart as well as the Bronze Star. I was also involved in an incident involving two drowning swimmers in 2002 in which the son lived and the father passed away. I was awarded the Soldier’s Medal, the Army's highest award for heroism during a non-combat situation. Once I separated in 2009, I quickly began realizing that all these things I had experienced had impacted who I was at the very core level...they had changed my identity. I dealt with my feelings by keeping my mind bogged down. I worked 60 hours a week and was taking 18-21 semester hours of college to complete my degree in Psychology. I would literally inhale any book explaining what my mind, heart, body and soul had been through. In 2013, I was officially diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety-based disorder. My experience with PTSD has been a little more challenging because it is complicated by my traumatic brain injury and epilepsy. I began attending routine counseling and although it did help some, it still wasn't producing the results I wanted...it simply wasn't enough by itself. Eventually I would continue this journey by enrolling in massage therapy school. It was never my intention to become a massage therapist, it was more about getting over my inability to be touched or touch those that I loved. In the process, I discovered how trauma is stored in the body and that, along with the psychology classes, helped me to start forming a better picture of what I was battling and more importantly how to. I continued attending counseling as well. Eventually I went on to point my focus on what happens at the soul level since I had a grasp on what my body and brain had been through. I began educating myself in philosophy and religion, eventually becoming an ordained minister. It has been a long, lengthy process learning how to not only get over my past, but instead grow from it. Self care requires 365 day participation, you can't afford to take a day off.
How has COVID impacted your mental health or those closest to you?
I used to be an individual that loved isolation. For someone with PTSD, it is normal. I worked very hard to become social. However, this current environment could be viewed as a step backwards for most who have worked hard to get themselves away from isolation due to their mental illness, only to have to go back for what is now already a year and counting
What resources, treatments, supports or habits have helped you to live a fuller life?
Physical and outdoor activities, complementary alternative medicine (acupuncture, chiropractic care, massage, Reiki), counseling services, peer support
What would you want to share with someone to help break the stigma surrounding mental health?
Everyone struggles. I mean everyone. I wholeheartedly believe that at least 97% of human beings on earth have experienced emotional distress at some point in their lives and yet no one teaches us how to work through this. Children go to school and learn everything with the exception of how to take care of themselves from a mental health standpoint and, yet, we know without a doubt that they will be hurt. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. We were told growing up to “pull up our bootstraps” and just deal with it. Well that isn't working. It isn't leading to a productive life, to productive relationships, or a fulfilled sense of purpose. In every aspect of your life you have been coached....mental health should be no different. Reach out, ask for help.
“There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn’t a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm.” – Dawn Serra
Kathy Martin
Mental Health Journey
I just stepped out of high school.
Confusion. Chaos. Conflict. Confusion.
Hospital. Sedated. Slow. Impatience.
Get this over with.
Diagnosis: mental illness. Bi-polar.
Remembering the Mania. Now.
I recall being busy, lots of ideas.
I’m “Special.” “Perfect.” “I can do more.”
….. But now. Nothing. No reason to…
-To do anything.
I can’t think of anything to do.
And I’m facing pressure to…
- to be responsible?
- to face people?
I don’t know what to say, what to do.
Just do this.
Go through the motions. Just. do. This.
Then do what you want
Sleep…..
Eat….
No reason to do….anything- back to sleep.
Then- to do nothing.
Take the medicine. Be alright, alone.
By myself. Alone. (Leave me alone!)
You don’t need to know me….
I don’t need to know you…
I don’t need to know me. Just for now.
How has COVID impacted your mental health?
I have paid close attention to the media’s stories about the pandemic. Seeing the pain of so many individuals put me through some emotional moments- frequently. However, not only was I able to get through the sadness, but because of the changes in my immediate surroundings (neighbors close by more often), it’s been an opportunity to practice social skills. I have needed to develop my confidence to initiate a conversation, to establish acquaintances. It feels like an improvement.
What resources, treatments, supports or habits have helped you to live a fuller life?
Resources: Zeller (Illinois State Hospital) was the place I was first diagnosed in 1974, residing several weeks and returning a few more times in the years following. A very large complex of several locked units, each 4-6 bedrooms for up to a dozen patients, a TV lounge, a coffee and activities room, an outdoor patio. There was a cafeteria, a group therapy room, and a gym- for volleyball, dance and music therapy. The complex is surrounded by a walking trail (now ICC). Also, each unit had a padded room for calming down when being subdued (or put into a straight jacket!). And there was an art room for periodic classes- painting, pottery, collage-making and shellacking, etc.
Treatments: Doctors and counselors. Meds provided to allow for a slow-down to gather my thoughts and de-stress. Therapists listened to specific problems and would help with solutions and decision-making. Generally, I found purpose. My self-esteem improved and relationships became more valuable.
Support: People with an understanding of the difficulties in keeping gainful employment, mostly family members and some of my counselors. Social security benefits after years of cycling success and failure with various career attempts or temporary jobs.
Habits: I attended the Human Service Center scheduled group meetings for the purpose of having structure. The Community Workshop and Training Center (Peoria, IL) was one place where I progressed in reaching personal goals because it demanded responsibility and dependability that led to keeping good habits like consistent exercising and quitting smoking. It’s very good to take an interest in something specific that leads to a hobby, something that’s there to come back to that produces feelings of accomplishment and self-worth.
"Life is like a piano; the white keys represent happiness and the black show sadness. But as you go through life's journey, remember that the black keys also create music." ~ Ehssan
I could share pages upon pages about the struggles, joys, grief, revelations, fears and growth in identity regarding mental health. My hope is to continue to learn, to educate and be an ally for those marginalized or misunderstood. When we are vulnerable, we allow others to be vulnerable. I believe Jesus did just that.
Sarah (she/her) also has her own journey with mental health regarding family divorce in the context of codependency and gambling addiction, grieved the death of grandparents to Alzheimers and Schizophrenia, lost a brother to suicide and has had countless conversations with friends, relatives and patients about anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, autism spectrum, borderline personality, suicidal thoughts and attempts, PTSD, OCD, disordered eating, ADHD, ODD and more. She enjoys learning and teaching pain neuroscience for integrating the mind and body into her physical therapy practice for chronic pain management. She is an advocate for counseling services, mental health awareness and started a not-for-profit to increase access to mental health services for military veterans and families. Sarah loves Imago, coffee and is grateful she got lasik this year (no more glasses!).