Be Love(d) Aging
KAREN WALTERS
Will Rogers said, “We could probably slow the aging process if it had to work its way through Congress.” Some things never change. Many of us arrive at our elder years with a white-knuckled grip on our youth. Because our culture puts such a premium on maintaining, at the very least, the status quo of our mid-life years (which is actually the time we still believe that we will feel better in the morning!), we miss something. That is, the opportunities and sacred invitations available to us in the final quarter of our lives. Perhaps this implies a certain weariness or fear of change.
When asked to write about what aging means to me, I first turned to some of my very wise friends for their views on the blessings and fears inherent in getting older. Lynn Karneboge said that the greatest blessing to her has been a certain spiritual maturity and her growing desire to live a more balanced life. Her greatest fear is that she will not continue to be able to use her gifts and skills for the greater good of everyone whose life intersects with hers. In other words, she is asking herself, “What is the value of my aging to society?” Linda Moore’s response was that she hopes to embrace aging and still have a significant role to play in the lives of others. Her greatest fear revolves around her desire not to be put on a shelf, a nice decoration, but no longer of any real use. Sue Ingersoll watched a blog from Jane Thibault, PhD, which presents “Aging as a Natural Monastery,” with the invitation to a deeper level of contemplation. It spoke to her heart.
As for me, the transition into my elder years has not been without its surprises, and my acceptance actually has a finite starting point…the night I went to my 50th high school reunion and saw so many “old” people! Not even my retirement from work, active parenting, and caring for my terminally ill ex-husband could prepare me for the shock. I faced an uncertain future with no clearly defined purpose, complicated with the sudden onset of significant illness. Not. For. The. Faint. Of. Heart. I began to yearn for nothing more than peace and serenity, which on some level I had convinced myself was my due.
Then came the invitations from the Divine to re-double two things: being more vulnerable and open about where I was emotionally and spiritually with my safe people, and entertaining the notion that this was probably one of my final opportunities to grow deeper and closer to God through my commitment to more quiet time for contemplation, a sacred space. In recent months I have begun to hunger for and treasure the miracle of the mystical nature of God and His constant, always available presence to me. I have also learned that I must not be “a half open book in a dimly lit room,” a phrase I heard on a recent podcast by Science Mike, when I am present with my soul friends, beloved family and spiritual mentors.
The invitations to see myself as I truly am have resulted in a much more balanced approach to life, in both the dark times and those in the light. If life has not fully met your expectations, and if the fact that our futures always remain something of a mystery concerns you, I would invite you to just let go of the past. Surround yourself with those you love and who love you, and start noticing the people with whom you can share that love. Perhaps they are on the margins of society or maybe right in front of you today.
My favorite piece of jewelry now is a necklace I got from Jen Hatmaker. It says “Be love(d).” Know that you are loved by your Creator and you are called to share that love, no matter your age. However, as George Carlin once said, “So far, this is the oldest I have been.” This is true for me as well, so take my words that bless and encourage you and leave the rest!
Karen is a woman “of a certain age,” who has been a business woman, church lady, wife, mother, and grandma. She especially enjoys being a part of the Imago Dei Hot Mess Sisters Book Club...because she fits right in!