Still in the Wilderness

HEATHER ROBERTSON


I expected the turning of the calendar to 2021 to be a sigh of relief. I know this was not founded in reality, where COVID would still be rampant, the transitions at a national level would still be creating chaos, and winter would still be roaring for some time. Yet, I held out hope. Maybe that is why Pastor Josh’s first sermon of the year was just what I needed. 

We are still in the wilderness. It’s messy and questionable how much longer. Yet, there is light shining into a multitude of places. One of those is the relief that comes when we “lose something we didn’t realize was hurting us so badly.” I have seen light shining both on things I’ve said goodbye to in 2020 and even further back. Things that were harming me. Things that I was holding on to that were harming others and harming God’s amazing creation. Light is shining revealing so many opportunities for pendulum shifts in a whole new direction. Perhaps, this is the great gift of such a challenging, traumatic time. 

I remember right before the pandemic. Our middle child had influenza type A and as I was waiting for his results, I was talking with the doctor attending to him. I asked if he thought this would be a true pandemic or if it would run its course without any true reaction needed from the world. He said he wasn’t sure but if it did not reach pandemic status, we were on the brink of one and should learn from this experience to be prepared when it really happened. 

As we journey toward coming out of the wilderness, I believe we are as much on the brink of something as we were when we were on the brink of the pandemic. In order to move forward, we will be invited to let go of so much that is no longer serving the big picture. I know it can feel hard to know what that is when we cannot see the full picture. One way we can respond in the waiting is to scan ourselves- mind, body, and soul, as well as the mind, body, and soul of our communities and pay attention to what feels heavy. Which parts of the day do we most dread? What relationships are taking extra effort? What pains have become so recurring that we almost forget they are there until we can no longer avoid them? 

In the cross-cultural immersion course I took in the fall, we learned how to question moments of stress. It is almost too simple. The trick was to ask why five times. Digging deeper into why the feeling was there allowed for a better understanding. Maybe the why can lead us to the letting go and with all openness created by letting go, we can embrace the gifts we are on the brink of exploring. 

The turning of a calendar didn’t change everything. I wish it was that simple. The turning of our attention could change everything. Perhaps we are on the brink of emerging from a wilderness that was not created by COVID, but instead revealed it. As we dig into spiritual practices and all the year ahead will hold, much will be revealed. May every day- both in the wilderness and out- be a gift. 


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The opportunity to work alongside the faith community of Imago Dei Church is incredible. My story has been a winding path including time serving as a licensed pastor in the United Methodist Church and the United Church of Christ. I am finishing up my coursework for a Master of Divinity degree at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. What comes next is a mystery. The path, while winding, is full of gratitude. One of my greatest sources of gratitude is my family: my husband Josh works for an orthotics company in Pekin, Ryder (11) is starting 6th grade, Johnathan (5) is starting kindergarten, and Julienna (2) is going to feel like it is forever before she gets to start school. We live in Pekin, where both Josh and I were raised. We are excited for this next stage of learning and growing. I am most excited to meet the people who create the mosaic that is Imago Dei.

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