More Wilderness to Come
KYLE BENEFIELD
For many, 2020 could not have ended soon enough. I found myself saying, “If 2020 is the wilderness, surely 2021 we’ll return to civilization. With the advent of a vaccine and a change of political power, we must be on the edge of the clearing. The proverbial light has to be at the end of this long, dark tunnel.” But 2021 appears still very much deep within the wilderness. Vaccine delays and troubling news pull hope out of our grasp, farther away with every step.
In Christianity, when we talk about leaving the wilderness, I wonder if we do a disservice to ourselves to think that there is always a clearing just ahead. I’m a #2 Enneagram, Hufflepuff, ENFP which is just a fancy way to say that I see unicorns and rainbows in every aspect of life. “Surely we are almost through this! Yippee! Stick that vaccine in my arm already! I want to be with my friends. I’d like to be done with masks. I’m ready to get back to normal.” Then the present reality sets in that this vaccine, although amazing and wonderful, isn’t going to be the immediate cure-all that we so desperately want. My mind cries out in protest, “Wait, I’m still going to have to be careful? I’m still going to have to socially distance? I’m still going to have to wear my mask?” On top of all that, we just witnessed a violent insurrection against the nation’s staple, peaceful transition of power; conspiracy theories run rampant; discrimination protections are being stripped away from our LGBTQ+ friends and family members and the police officers who murdered Breonna Taylor still haven’t been brought to justice. We are still in the wilderness.
What do we do as people of faith when the wilderness seemingly never ends, when pat answers just won’t do? What do we do when the answers to what we are looking for won’t fit on a gift shop “get well soon” card? My mind jumps to the prophet Jeremiah who never made it out of the wilderness. Or Mother Theresa who struggled with inner darkness even as she brought light to others. I’m not prophetic, but I suspect there is more wilderness to come. Does walking out of the wilderness look any different than walking through the wilderness in terms of the actual walking part? I’m not so certain it does. We keep moving forward. It is the right foot, left foot, daily rhythm that keeps us going. For me, personally, both of those steps look like alternating between Micah 6:8 and Matthew 22. Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly, right foot…Love God and love people, left foot. Right foot, left foot. Right foot, left foot.
As we move forward, there are things that we leave behind in 2020 and things that we choose to embrace. I encourage you to make your own list. Personally, I think we can leave toxicity behind in 2020. What people and things are toxic in our lives? I believe we should embrace community in 2021 as we continue to walk through the wilderness, uncertain of any timely ending.
Jesus helped model community for us by always being around people. On his darkest day, he gathered his best friends together to support him. He longed to have friends and family around who would stay up with him. As we walk through this dark time together, we must cling to community. Who are the people who would stay up with us? Who are the people that are by our sides when others fail? Let us cling to those relationships as we walk forward into 2021.
Kyle Benefield is the most unlikely of pastors. He never wanted to be one, let alone a follower of Jesus. For as long as he can remember as a child, he aspired to be a doctor. God seemingly had different plans for him. Kyle graduated from the University of Illinois in 2006 with a degree in Medieval Spanish Literature. He and his wife Ellen Benefield, along with their 3 sons, Ethan, August, and Liam, planted a church in Mazatlán, Mexico for the better part of a decade before moving back to the Midwest and replanting their lives in Peoria. Kyle is passionate about his family, friendships, and red wine. Kyle loves the local church and wants to help people find real and meaningful life both inside and outside the church. He currently teaches Spanish to 8th graders in Dunlap.