Shape a Genesis Week From Chaos
HEATHER ROBERTON
I began 2020 with a theme song. I typically choose a word for the year. I honestly cannot remember my word because this year has been so different from what I envisioned. Wait…that was my word: VISION. I digress. My song of the year came from the widely anticipated Frozen II, called “Into the Unknown.” All of 2019, I felt God was preparing me for some big changes and leaps of faith. I guess I was right, but I was also really wrong.
I thought I was going into the unknown, but I still kind of thought I knew where it was all leading. Then, a global pandemic. Then, the tragic murders of Ahmaud Arberry, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. Then, the opportunity to listen. Then, the question of what sports, schools, churches, and so many other organizational structures will do to navigate this space and time. All wrapped up in a bow called an election year. Going into the unknown was suddenly, abruptly, and constantly taking on new meaning.
Attempting to understand where this unknown path was leading resulted in tears of frustration, many sleepless nights, and a lot of prayer. I found myself centering on one verse from The Message paraphrase of Psalm 51: “God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.” I cannot read these words without the visceral response of tear-filled eyes and goosebumps as I am transported back to the enthusiasm, grief, and desperate hope with which I prayed them.
Chaos is a really good word for 2020. Unknown is a great word for 2020. Yet, I continue to come back to the word: Genesis. What if this year really is the start of something new? What if the prophecy of Amos comes to fruition in this genesis, and we see oceans of justice and rivers of fairness flow? (Amos 5:24, The Message) What if we take our everyday, ordinary lives — our sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering? (Romans 12:2, The Message)
What if?
Perhaps those two little words, “what if,” can become the word for 2020. With all of the unknowns, questions, visions, and uncertainties, I have given a fair share of my time to asking, what if? Often, “what if” gets a bad name, affects a certain posture, but “what if” can actually be the most exciting phrase.
The unknown can be scary. Exciting. Overwhelming. It is also the space I find myself most willing to allow the Spirit of God to lead. When I am full of more questions than answers, when I see a thousand paths, when I start to wonder which end is up, there is really no other option but to lean in and depend on God. Admitting that always causes me to pause for a reflective moment of confession. For now, it is still my truth. Maybe someday I will not wait for the bottom to seemingly fall out. For now, I will listen to the “part of me that longs to go into the unknown.”
God, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
The opportunity to work alongside the faith community of Imago Dei Church is incredible. My story has been a winding path including time serving as a licensed pastor in the United Methodist Church and the United Church of Christ. I am finishing up my coursework for a Master of Divinity degree at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. What comes next is a mystery. The path, while winding, is full of gratitude. One of my greatest sources of gratitude is my family: my husband Josh works for an orthotics company in Pekin, Ryder (11) is starting 6th grade, Johnathan (5) is starting kindergarten, and Julienna (2) is going to feel like it is forever before she gets to start school. We live in Pekin, where both Josh and I were raised. We are excited for this next stage of learning and growing. I am most excited to meet the people who create the mosaic that is Imago Dei.