Faith, “Even if He Doesn’t”
DAWN SCHURTER
As I write this, I am flipping through my well-loved, well-traveled Bible — the margins of which I’ve been writing in since I received it upon my high school graduation. The content of these margins is all the proof one needs that how you read and understand the Bible changes drastically over the years. These notes are a good reminder that what I once read as absolutely concrete and beyond human influence, I now read through the various lenses of my upbringing, experiences, education, relationships, and work. As I began searching for a particularly meaningful passage to me, all I needed to do was to follow the highlighting and scribbles. I remember believing that this book had all the answers in life, and finding myself continually disappointed as I got deeper and deeper into my social work career, and finding that for me, it didn’t.
The passage that reveals the most multiple highlightings in my Bible would probably be towards the end of the Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego story in Daniel. I have been perpetually inspired by/suspicious of their collective response to King Nebuchadnezzar’s threat to throw them into the fiery furnace if they refused to bow to his golden statue. Daniel 3:16-18 says, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied, ‘O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.’” What did they actually believe would happen? Does it even matter?
I have always struggled with how faith, prayer, and actions fit together. If I pray for good things in the world, and they don’t happen, does that mean that God doesn’t want those good things as well? Or that He doesn’t care? What does it mean when someone all-powerful has the ability to right wrongs, yet still chooses not to? If I don’t have faith that some prayer will be answered but act as if it will anyways, is it still faith? Did Peter truly believe he wouldn’t sink? Or did he just jump regardless of what he expected? Is that still faith? Concerning this passage, I have always wondered if the “even if he doesn’t” portion of their statement was a cop-out for the bold statement they’d made about God’s intention to save them, in case He didn’t. Or perhaps, it’s their decision to take the leap, even if they don’t really have faith He’ll save them. My solution so far has been to not pray for anything specific (and risk some answers I’m not ready to face), and to just try to keep jumping, even if I don’t really believe it’ll matter in the end.
Dawn Schurter prefers living in her own head, but as a therapist, spends most of her day living in other people’s. She loves reading fantasy and science fiction, traveling, being outdoors, and crafting things. Her New Year’s resolution is to draw something every day.