Give More
Trudy Schaffner
I am supposed to write to you about giving more. It isn’t easy to do that without falling into the trap of telling you all the wonderful ways I have given of myself or all the wonderful things I have seen doing outreach work. So, I would like to challenge you to think about the idea that giving more equals really knowing the person you are giving to. Have you ever done a Secret Santa at work or school? Do you find yourself wishing for a certain name as the hat goes around and you get to draw? Did you happen to see the perfect thing for your office mate and just need the excuse to get it? Have you ever felt crushing disappointment when you draw the name of the “Grouchy Gus” next door or when you find out in the end the “Grouchy Gus” drew your name, and your presents weren’t as nice as someone else’s? It’s the knowing that makes Secret Santa more fun. When you’re friends with someone, gift buying is easier and more enjoyable. The same goes for giving of ourselves in other ways. If we are giving but are oblivious to what needs someone has or how they wish to interact with us, the giving is hollow, empty.
This summer, we were out doing street outreach when we passed a couple on a bench. They were sleeping with bags of their possessions at their feet. We pulled up next to them and asked if they were okay. Their eyes didn’t open as they waved us on. It was hot, so I offered, “Do you need some water?” This got a small response. My husband exited the car and struck up a conversation with the gentleman. I got out, too, and introduced myself to his partner. She explained their situation, and it was then that I remembered the femine product bags we had in the car. I asked if she could use those. She hugged me and started to weep. I held her there on the street and fought back tears. She took the bag, and we departed to go buy them dinner and sleeping bags. I was left to process her reaction. The best comparison I could come up with was when someone gives me a heartfelt, perfect Christmas present — not the most expensive, but the one that took the most thought. She felt seen that day. I saw her need, and I addressed it on the spot. This is just one example of a time where I was honored to experience this.
I have done a lot of volunteer work in my life, as many of us have. I have served meals, delivered meals to shut-ins, handed out water in downtown Peoria, gone on mission trips. While none of those things were wrong, they did feel a little like driving by and throwing Bibles out the window at people. I didn’t know any of those people, and I never stopped to ask if what they needed or if I could help them. I just showed up and assumed I could. I have learned a great deal in the past year about meeting people where they are and meeting needs without expectations on the person receiving the “help” I had to offer.
To really know people on the margins, we must keep ourselves in situations where we are given the opportunity to come alongside them. A simple reminder is the saying, “proximity matters.” Where can you in your life this Advent season get to know someone better so that you can be that person in their life? Who do you interact with but know nothing about?
I love Advent season. It is a time each year for me to reset, to give thanks for all of the things that matter to me, and to be reminded of Jesus, who came into this world to be the one who knows all of us. My hope this Advent season is that in knowing Jesus more, I can give more. My prayer is that I could be like Jesus, see people on the margins, and come alongside them in a way that brings them dignity and hope.
Trudy is a one on the Enneagram, “The Reformer.” She gets up every day and sets out to “beat back the darkness.” She is a fierce advocate for children and is the Homeless Youth Liaison for Peoria County. She is married to her best friend, and they have three daughters but have raised many other children together. She is a choreographer and can usually be found humming a show tune and dancing when no one is watching.